• whine and complain
• say that they’re dumb at everything
• say that they’re nowhere as good as you are
• be reminded that they are smart
• get 90 – 100% all the damn time
• pretend to be ignorant
• pretend to be cute
• victimize themselves

And if you’ve got all the traits and showed them to me, I will tolerate it but when you make me snap, I go all ugly.

I try not to, but when stress is high and all I hear is your constant whining and whinging, it really does get to me. I’m dumb enough already as I am tyvm, and I don’t have to be reminded of how stupid I am compared to you.

I really do not want to be like this in the first year. I’m usually a happy go lucky, don’t really bother about other people’s business kinda person. But I’m only human and there is just that much that I can tolerate.

One day I took a picture of my coloured markers and notes and Brenda suggested that I uploaded it to GameMaki… and I did. And it got me hooked! I check GameMaki as often as I check Twitter and Facebook. And that speaks volumes!

I think it’s a genius idea. The world of Web 2.0 is slowly disappearing and mobile applications are going to take over the world. I remember when Instagram was iPhone only and I told myself, “Well, even if there is an Android version, I’d probably still not use it much. I don’t upload pictures that often anyways.” I was wrong. It is so much easier to do taking and pictures on a phone than to take a picture on a camera and then transferring it to a laptop. And I pretty much expect that when GameMaki releases the Android version, I’m going to be super duper addicted!

I actually enjoy browsing through challenges and think of things to do, pictures to share, or just to see what others have. So join GameMaki and follow me I’d love to see what you guys can come up with

On a side note, my revision has been coming along great despite the fact that I’ve added one more social networking site to my addictions. I really want to get a First!

I try to be a better person, one who is understanding in various situations that I have been put through, but sometimes it just doesn’t work out. I always try to keep calm and composed, I do not go against others’ views unless absolutely necessary.

But then again there are people who are irrational, immature and closed minded. It was bad enough that things started out badly since we started having our meal and then it just slowly built up.

My friends and I decided to order Indian takeaways because:

1. I was craving for Indian food.
2. I can’t cook Indian food without ready made sauces. And even if I do, it isn’t that delicious.
3. I had a little bit of money left to spend for this month.

So yes, we did order the food. Two of our friends were late so and we did call and ask if they wanted anything, and they said no. Right. Delivery was scheduled to arrive at 11.50pm, and we were cool with that since we were going to watch a movie later.

One of my friends, let’s call her Z, arrived late. When we told her we were waiting for food, she said, “Oh, I didn’t realize you guys were getting food.” But we did call her. And ask her. And she said no. So we told her we were getting Indian food, and she replied, “Oh, Indian food. It’s okay then, I don’t want any.” Fine.

Food arrived and we moved to the kitchen to eat since I am very particular about eating in my room, and I absolutely forbid people to eat on my bed, especially if it had a lot of gravy. We were happily in the kitchen and as usual I offered everyone a bit of what I had. See, whenever I order food, I tend to order extras because:

1. Everyone likes to try a bit of everything
2. I love food
3. I keep leftovers for my next meal

So anyways, I offered Z a bit of vegetable curry, Biryani, Naan Bread, Papadoms and she refused all of them.

“I don’t trust Indians.”

That statement angered me. I love Indian food, I watch Bollywood films, I also have a lot of Indian friends. It’s like saying “Hey, I don’t trust it because Indians made it.” So I said, “Gee, that’s totally un-racist of you.”

She clarified and said “I mean, I don’t like Indian food because I don’t like spicy food. The past few times I had it I didn’t like it.”

OK, fine by me. I honestly can’t handle spicy food either but Indian food is always an exception. Case closed. And then we as a group were talking about a certain photo, then asphyxiation, films and also how sometimes in Bollywood, people die by accident during certain scenes.

Z responded by saying, “See, that’s why I don’t trust Indians.”

I flipped. Inside at least. I kept calm and just said, “See, that’s what I meant by racist. Indians are people too. It’s like saying Asians aren’t humans because they’re supposedly good at Maths.”

M, jokingly said, “But they’re not. They’re the God. I mean, I’d f*cking love to be Asian.” Us, knowing him, all laughed and the atmosphere was less tense.

Eventually I gave up the point of trying to explain how you can’t generalize a whole culture to someone who wouldn’t listen. We finished our meal and moved on to my room to watch a movie.

Z saw SnuggleBun and kept asking me if she could kiss it. NO. She had already had Tequila, and hell no is anyone going to kiss SnuggleBun when they didn’t even wash their face, potentially had lipstick, and especially if they are not me. M kissed SnuggleBun to bug me as per usual, and then Z took it back and kissed it on the cheek. Calm the fuck down, I told myself, it’s not worth it getting fired up over this small thing.

She then saw MehMeh and threw it to one of my friends who was sitting on the bed, simply because she wanted to sit down and had no place to sit. See, MehMeh has been my travel buddy ever since I got to the UK, and I have a really strong emotional attachment to it. It has been with me through everything, from friendships to disasters, from dark nights to sunny days. Calm down, I told myself again.

Then she saw Sookie. She grabbed on to her, hugged it and sat down. We were still deciding on a movie at that point and I was busy setting up the room for our unversity cinematic experience. We wanted a horror, so Y and I suggested Apartment 1303.

Z doesn’t like horrors so she said “I can’t do horrors. I think I’m going to go with G. Can I bring these with me and cuddle them elsewhere while you watch the horror film?”

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. No one takes my stuffed toys out of my room. Everywhere outside my room is disgusting. The floor isn’t clean, if anyone was to drop them on the ground I’d probably have to dry clean each and every one of them and then bring them back in a sealed plastic bag because I’m just that OCD.

“Put them down and go home,” I said angrily.

I had already flipped mentally and just sat down and waited for her to leave. She left eventually and I was glad. It was exhausting just trying to talk to her. I’ve had small issues with her in the past because of housing and stuff like that, but now I’ve gone past it and I’m actually grateful I don’t have to live with her! I guess everything is a blessing in disguise.

First and foremost, I cannot understand how the hell she was unable to understand me when I conveyed my feelings. EVERYONE in the room knew I was annoyed. I’m usually happy when people around because I love company, but it’s silly people like these that really really change my mood.

Honestly, I could be like her and generalize that everyone from her country are absolutely selfish, idiotic and completely not understanding. But I know that people are not like that, every dark cloud has a silver lining.

The weather has been pretty much bad for the whole of April. Strong winds, rain, howling winds, more rain, it never ends. There are a few days hours of sun before the grey skies take over again. It’s gloomy.  And there’s a BBQ tomorrow and the weather forecast? Rain. Like my matron always said, “Welcome to England!”

I’ve just gone through all the assessments for French and I got a C+ overall, all of which I was not that mentally prepared to do any assessment. I did do a bit of preparation for my speaking assessment… a night before. I didn’t have time.

I’m actually procrastinating at the moment. My brain is frying up already because I’ve been awake and I’ve been working since 9am yesterday morning. And my work still isn’t done. No, it’s not last minute, I actually picked up the work left behind by others’ because this is a group coursework.

I really want to do well. 80% average on every module is do-able. I’m sure I can easily score for Maths. Maybe even get a 90% for that. I’ll just need to practice a lot though. Systems engineering will require me to memorize and waffle a lot. I might need to do a lot of memorizing and understanding for Programming. And learning the whole of Systems Architecture on my own. Work load is piling up. Mental stress is piling up. Emotional breakdowns are more frequent. This is bloody ridiculous.

I miss the sun. I miss home. Two and a half more months. I can do this. I just need time, and time is something I don’t have.

But then again I could better spend my time on more useful things like studying, completing my coursework, or finish up the design I’ve made for this site / for my personal web space on the university network.

Now lately I’ve been more motivated to study, which is an amazing thing, because I’ve been so demotivated for the first half of the academic year. I want to get a 1:1, but unless I’ve got 80% for all my upcoming modules, chances of that happening are really slim.

So anyways, I was talking to a few friends of mine and how things were like in their family. I just realized how different my mindset is from theirs, just based on what their mothers say to them.

The girls started going on about rich guys in our year and that they’d be OK to have the guy touch them. I said that it was weird, and to me it was definitely wrong. Another guy who was present at the time said, “I’m so sorry but my view on you ___ girls has changed drastically. I didn’t know you girls were that cheap.”

I know it excluded me, because he mentioned the social group name that I never belonged to. Well anyways, I wonder whether my traditional values are solely based on what I’ve been told, what I’ve grown up with, the people who influence me. I know I occasionally act like a Miss Goody-Goody Two Shoes, but if I can I wouldn’t.

My friend said her mom said something along the lines of, “If a rich old perverted man likes you, let him shower you with whatever he wants to. It’s OK to receive affection. Just don’t do anything you’d regret.”

On the other hand my mom said to me before, “Focus on studying. Don’t let any guy touch you.” (This resulted in my ridiculous fear of boys, shaking hands was once a difficult task, and to date hugging is still an awkward social interaction for me.)

Most people regard me as independent. I am actually far from it – I panic at the smallest problems. I guess not everyone understands who or what I really am, including myself.

I know that this post isn’t that coherent, but it sums up how messed up my mind feels now

So last night I was happily at my friend’s place and I brought my straightener, comb, sectioning clips and scissors because I was supposed to help her cut her hair. But at that point I already wanted my own fringe, and I wanted to cut it in the presence of someone else so that I was less likely to mess up. I took an hour and a bit to finish it all. And the next day to sort out bits and pieces. And the end result? I like it.

Oh, and so does everyone else. I’ve received numerous compliments so far and this has boosted my fluctuating ego. To be honest, a straight fringe is a dramatic take on my overgrown A-Line hair, and I honestly think I look more confident walking around uni now because my hair no longer covers my face, as if I’ve something to hide.

Also, I’m so happy that Instagr.am is finally out for Android. I’ve been using it so frequently since I installed it because I love the filters!

I was not happy, however, when I cut my hair and my friends decided it was going to be fun to hack into my laptop and make it such that they can control it remotely. I didn’t realize until my Firefox kept crashing and voila. Yours truly dropped the bomb and stormed out.

But everything was okay again when we hung out today They still refused to tell me what they did, but at least I disabled remote connections now. So hopefully, just hopefully, they’ve left it alone. For good.

I woke up at 8am and started dealing with a coursework, calling people because of housing issues, calling people because of money issues, and so on and so forth. It was a hectic morning.

And when It was 12pm, I just realized… I haven’t had any breakfast yet. But I had a lecture to attend. I walked to the lecture room, forgetting to bring a fruit or snack, and sat down with my friends. Everything went along well.

Until 12.30pm. My stomach started growling loudly for the longest periods of time. I felt like becoming an ostrich, hiding my head in the ground. To make matters worse, it continued to rumble until the end of the lecture. My friends were all looking at me and all I could do was show an apologetic face.

It reminds me of boarding school when my stomach always rumbled, but then again at that time I always had breakfast, free good breakfast. It’s just that during Meeting for Worship, silence becomes so much louder. But I knew my stomach rumbled because it was digesting all the food.

Sigh… but yes, I will make sure I eat breakfast next time. I will not embarrass myself any further >.<

And then we all started eating, singing songs, and playing games. Betcha thought I was going to say something serious, no? :p Well I’ve been busy. Really really busy. I have committed myself to BAMSA Night (where I will sing, act and dance!), a web project as well as my coursework from various university modules.

I’ve also been cooking various dishes, all of which are an adaptation of known recipes because I simply do not have all the ingredients needed. Nonetheless everything I’ve cooked has been palatable and I really love what I eat. The word to describe it is… perfect attempt Considering how ‘broke’ I am, I still have a full food cupboard and still can afford to eat good food means that I’m doing well, right? Can’t wait for March when my allowance is out! ;_;

And since I’m busy, I can’t properly take time to pen down my thoughts and experiences during my trip to Morocco until a later date. For now, I hope this picture is enough.

This has been a pic-spam post. I will try to be more word-vomity next time.

On a not-so-nice note, I’ve lost my fork and spoon… again.

My dream last night was a weird one. I went on holiday and somehow my cousin gave me a snack to munch on because I was hungry. I did. And we continued our tour. After our holiday abroad was over, I found myself in my own home, and I was just telling my parents how mobile phones knew when a person died, and the phone would take the picture of a person as they die. I walked up to my parents old bedroom and the white furniture were still around.

I looked out the window to view the mountain. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my chest and I was falling, but I managed to catch sight of my phone and smiled. FLASH! I was dead.

But I had become a ghost. I saw my parents frantically running upstairs, finding me dead on the floor. And they wondered why. I was alright and well for the whole time, how could I have possibly died so soon? They called the ambulance and they pronounced me dead from food poisoning.

Now as the ambulance crew left, my parents found themselves able to see my ghost. They asked me, “Why did you not tell us you were feeling unwell?” I shook my head. I knew I was perfectly healthy before the heart attack and my death.

Soon the whole scene changed. I was now in my uncle’s house and I was ready to be buried. They did send my body to the cemetery, but my ghost remained in the house, afraid for sunrise. I knew that the Black Guard of Impermanence and White Guard of Impermanence would take me when the sun is up because my strength was diminishing at a fast pace.

I waited. My brother had gone to school and he was coming back home. My sister was talking to me, crying as she went along. I gave her all my treasured belongings. And the worst part was my parents. They just kept crying.

When my brother got home, it was nearly sunrise. All I could say was “I’m very proud of you, my boy,” before the two arrived, ready to take me to hell. I threw all my jewellery and personal belongings that I still had. I hugged my parents goodbye and said I’d love to be their daughter in the next life, and told my sister that we’ll forever be sisters and I’d love to be her sister again.

The two told me to fly, I said I could not. They told me to jump. The feeling was exhilarating. I move freely in the air, but I could not bear to leave. This was when the two gave me a chance. A chance to choose who I’d spend half a day with before I was taken to hell.

I chose my sister. We were then sat down in a car with the two and we cruised around until we found a beverage shop. The two had no idea how to use cash, and I ended up paying for them. As I was walking towards the car, a thief snatched my keys (wtf right?!) and I chased after him, screaming stop! Stop! STOP!

Try as I may, I was unable to catch up. Thankfully the two managed to retrieve it back for me. But time was up. They quickly changed back to their original form and insisted that I left immediately. I held on to my sister’s hand and they pulled me away to hell.

And then I woke up.